Revision is the butter to the writer's bread. Everything, yes, sadly everything, can probably be improved. I'm a very lucky person to have a good friend who will beta read pretty much anything and everything I give her. She's provided some valuable feedback which helped improve my logline. (Thank you, Richa!) In addition, last night I spotted a flaw in my thinking...
Although my main character's best friend will provide initial antagonism... he will not be the primary antagonist. Instead... this is so much better... he'll be the one arrested for her magical mistake!
I know it's not attractive to toot your own horn, but boy am I pleased with this idea change. While it's extremely threatening to have a Federal criminal case hanging over your own head, how much worse when it's someone you care about and it's your fault! Do you walk, or perhaps crawl, away? Do you "save" him? Ah, so much potential for drama!
The revised logline is below. Again, I am soliciting thoughts and opinions. If you have a suggestion, please comment.
On the verge of a another slow small-town Summer, a shy used book store owner receives an old and incomprehensible tome which she finally interprets as a book of wholly useless magic with the help of her cryptanalyst/hacker best and only friend; but when she uses the text and causes her friend’s arrest for a felony theft he didn’t commit, she must learn to make real-world friends and request their help to undo her mistakes, before the mysterious group attempting to purchase the text decides instead to take it from her or her best friend is convicted. – The Compendium of Curiosities and Impractical Magic
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